I keep letting these negative thoughts enter my head, for example, "You're never going to make friends here." This I know to be a lie because if you have met me you know I am not a shy person and I won't ever be the one to sit out of something on that account. Then I hear, "This feeling will never go away." I simply have to read an encouraging email from my mom and those feelings start to dissipate. I am here for a reason. I have never had to embark to a strange place by myself before. I usually have someone with me. But, there is my mistake again because I am not alone. I do have someone with me.
I shared this with a few people, but God spoke to me last weekend when we were moving me down. He said, "Sarah, you and I are about to get a lot closer!" What a wonderful thing to hear! I read my Bible for the first time in months last night, and went to bed for the first time in months feeling somewhat at peace even with all of the chaos around me.
Things keep malfunctioning like my computer. The speakers won't work for me to hear my music and my monitor is stuck on it's lowest position and I can't move it higher! But, my monitor is working! I have internet, I can plug headphones into my computer to hear the music and Skype with my parents. I want to choose to see God in every good and bad thing, because He is in everything I do and will be with me in everything I do. I have a tendency to drown in sorrow, but I am and will not be that person anymore! I choose to be positive about everything! I will get through this "settling in" period and then I will look back on this time and smile. Now, I'm not thinking this will happen in a day, but I am willing to trust God that He will be there every step of the way. One day at a time!
I love you Sarah and thanks for this encouraging post!! I know you will make it through this "settling in time". We all go through these times in our lives and they are what really make us us! If life was easy and comfortable all the time, it wouldn't be very interesting and we wouldn't grow we would just stay stagnant! Sounds like you're trusting God in all of this and how exciting that you do have this time to get closer to Him!! I'm praying for your adventure and I know you will look back on this time and be thankful for it! You will have friends in no time and for now just enjoy the peace and quiet!! Love you babe!!
ReplyDeleteHi gorgeous Sarah,
ReplyDeleteYour transparent words reflect a heart truly willing to be led by Jesus! What an exciting, new, and understandably nerve-wracking season of your beautiful life!!! Sometimes this willingness to be completely in His will in itself can be taking a great risk, because once we walk another step, mature a little more, grasp a little deeper, repent more fully, receive more gladly, study more hungrily, etc. it truly impacts every other aspect of our life both this side of Heaven and once we're Home!
Don't get too settled anywhere on earth, for remember your lasting Home is in His full, unhindered presence in Heaven :)
I hope that you won't wait months to read God's living Word again...It will be what shall breathe new life into you daily, by His Spirit.
I love how you know you can't stay or be truly positive each day without Him. I have to remind myself too though, that Jesus wept, he got sad, he did not loose hope, but darling, give yourself freedom to be real at all times! I am committing to prayerfully intercede for you in times when perhaps you are sleeping, or at a less spiritually alert place as the months unfold. I trust that the Lord will prompt me in this in harmony with God's perfect will, and that you will be blessed by it as He leads you by still waters and through valleys of shadows...He is, as you wrote, with you! You are not alone! And never forget how much LOVE so many people have for you. You're so supported at this time, Miss Sarah!
"When I said, 'my foot is slipping!', your love O Lord supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy abundant to my soul."
Psalm 94:18-19