3 Weeks!

In the beginning time passed by very slowly. Each day seemed longer than the last. Now, the time is flying and I can't quite believe it has been 3 weeks already. In this short time I have managed to find a job, a great group of young adults and a sense of belonging here. I'm not quite sure I can be so bold as to say I feel right at home yet, but this is one of those things that takes time and can't be rushed. A person can live in the same place for 20 years and still not feel at home. I do not wish or want that for myself. I truly want to feel at home here.

I make a point of waking up everyday and thanking God for all of the blessings in my life. For instance, I have a place to live, food to eat, clothes, I'm healthy, I have a job and most importantly I'm finally following my dreams. Another thing that really excites me is that I don't use my GPS as much anymore. This may seem trivial to most, but to me it shows an effort to make Burnaby home. To learn the streets where I live and feel confident enough to venture out without it.

Day to day, I have felt much more at peace about my decision to move here. I don't believe God just brought me here to go to school, I also believe it was to renew my relationship with Him. I had really lost sight of God in the last few months before I left and didn't focus on Him until I needed Him. This is not to say I didn't want to be close to Him, I was just too busy thinking about the move. But ever since I got here things have been amazing! I feel so connected to His voice and feel closer to Him than I ever have. He is daily showing me how much He loves me, and it could be the tiniest thing, but to me, it shows how much He cares. There is purpose and plan in everything God lays before us, it may be difficult and extremely challenging at times, but it ultimately makes us stronger and draws us one step closer to God's true plan for us.

I'm still not sure exactly where and what I am suppose to be doing day to day, but each day is easier. I am going to choose to trust no matter what happens. I have already been through the hardest part of my move which was the settling in. I didn't think I would get through it, but now I feel so much stronger because I did. Experience is something I really value and I can always take so much from what I have been through. I see a strength in myself I didn't know existed and a real sense of determination. I am a fighter for better or worse. Each day will get better and better and soon enough I might even be so bold as to call this place...home.

The "settling in" period.......

Well, I'm here in my new place. I just spent my first night here last night. I think it was silly of me to think that this part would be somewhat easy. I guess what I'm feeling is a mix of homesickness and isolation. I feel so lonely, because unlike at home I can't just go to my mom or walk to a friends. But there is a presence here of love and peace and the only one that could be is Jesus. I can feel him everywhere around me, I just find it hard to stay in that place.

I keep letting these negative thoughts enter my head, for example, "You're never going to make friends here." This I know to be a lie because if you have met me you know I am not a shy person and I won't ever be the one to sit out of something on that account. Then I hear, "This feeling will never go away." I simply have to read an encouraging email from my mom and those feelings start to dissipate. I am here for a reason. I have never had to embark to a strange place by myself before. I usually have someone with me. But, there is my mistake again because I am not alone. I do have someone with me.

I shared this with a few people, but God spoke to me last weekend when we were moving me down. He said, "Sarah, you and I are about to get a lot closer!" What a wonderful thing to hear! I read my Bible for the first time in months last night, and went to bed for the first time in months feeling somewhat at peace even with all of the chaos around me.

Things keep malfunctioning like my computer. The speakers won't work for me to hear my music and my monitor is stuck on it's lowest position and I can't move it higher! But, my monitor is working! I have internet, I can plug headphones into my computer to hear the music and Skype with my parents. I want to choose to see God in every good and bad thing, because He is in everything I do and will be with me in everything I do. I have a tendency to drown in sorrow, but I am and will not be that person anymore! I choose to be positive about everything! I will get through this "settling in" period and then I will look back on this time and smile. Now, I'm not thinking this will happen in a day, but I am willing to trust God that He will be there every step of the way. One day at a time!